Last Day of MDO (sigh)

Ms. Tricia, Vivien, Ms. Lynn, and Ms. Brandy

Today was Vivien's last day of MDO. I think I held it together pretty well. I did get a little teary when Miss Brandy gave her a big hug. But in an effort to avoid making a fool out of myself, I high-tailed it out of there (as much as a waddling pregnant woman can high-tail, anyway).

This day is sad to me for a few reasons. The first being that I no longer have alone time. Ha ha. Seriously, my family will attest...getting Vivien out of the house is next to impossible. I could promise her a shopping cart full of Barbies and she would still fight me on it. Thus, MDO days have been reserved for running errands and grocery shopping. I think that until summer camp begins, we will starve because Vivien refuses to leave the house.

The main reason I am sad is that I notice the things that Vivien has learned in her MDO. She has really thrived from this social interaction. She is so well balanced from what she picks up at school that I cannot teach her at home. It has also given me a chance to learn that she does, in fact, know how to listen and behave. Even though she knows how to push Mom's buttons (and Dada's too), she knows how to act appropriately when we are not around. For that I am very proud as a parent to know that she does hear what we say to her, even if she chooses not to listen in that moment. Additionally, I love to hear all of the new songs she learns. Her life is a musical. She wakes up singing and rarely stops, so it's always nice to hear new material. I am most proud of the bonds she has made with her teachers and hearing how very special she is to them. I always enjoy hearing the various things she has told the teachers throughout the day, and I also appreciate the fact that they have probably not told me about the more embarrassing things she has told them. All of which are true, I'm sure. She has also gotten her first taste of being bullied, and how to deal with that. It broke my heart at first that she was having an issue with a boy in her class, but I realized it's all part of being in a public setting and now is as good of a time as any to learn how to cope with a bully.

Admittedly, when we switched Vivien from Ms. Susan's class to this class at the beginning of the year, I was VERY concerned and apprehensive. But this set of teachers did an outstanding job with Vivien on all fronts. They have worked so hard to prepare her for becoming a big sister....even if it is to a BROTHER instead of a sister. I felt so relieved to know that she was truly being attended to by people who realize how very special she is.

My last thought is that I have felt especially endeared to one teacher in particular. She paid me some of the highest compliments I have ever received as a mother. Brandy, if you read this, I'm probably going to have our e-mail exchange bronzed and mounted on a plaque. Those words meant the world to me and reminded me that I don't need to explain anything. To know Vivien is to know the kind of parents Jim and I are, and for that I am extremely proud. I can truly appreciate when someone takes the time to look past my pink hair and tattoos and simply see the mother that I am to my child.

That's the long-winded version of why I'm sad. Oh...one more thing. Vivien told me in the car yesterday that she wants to be a teacher when she grows up. I told her that's a fine thing to be.

Dada gets a colonoscopy

Poor Jim had a colonoscopy today. I was afraid we would all not live through his day of fasting yesterday, but he did really well. Considering how often Jim eats daily, this was no easy feat for him. This was his second colonoscopy, with the first being 10 years ago. Today his doctor found polyps. He sent them off to pathology, but is sure they are benign. Nonetheless, polyps are unusual for a man of Jim's age. He will have to have another colonoscopy in 3 years. We are so fortunate that he had this procedure so that he can stay on top of keeping them removed as he gets older. If left too long, polyps can become cancerous.

Despite the difficulties with getting the IV needle into his veins, he did great. And I took him to Chipotle for a nice big lunch when he was done. He spent the rest of the afternoon napping. Tomorrow he will be back to work as usual.

Tomorrow is also Vivien's last day of Mothers Day Out, so you can be sure there will be a tearful post from me regarding that.

Memorial Day Weekend

We are still fighting the funk around here, but are mostly on the mend. Although we did have to cancel some dinner plans yesterday, we still managed to do a couple of things this weekend.

Every year in Birthright, TX on the Sunday before Memorial Day, the church on the cemetery grounds holds a memorial service. It's in a one room church house with little-no air conditioning. There is a short speech given and those who have passed in the recent year that are buried there are recognized. This year, Isabella was among those recognized. I simply could not handle the 2 hour drive and lack of air conditioning at 7.5 months pregnant, so I sat this one out. However, it was important to Jim that Vivien attend with him so that his extended family could see her.

As a total neurotic who needs to be in charge of everything, it was hard for me to let my little girl go off with Dad (although he is more than capable). You see, until my wedding anniversary last year, I had never spent a single night away from her besides when she was in the PICU. As her mother, I have a STRONG sense of responsibility for her well-being. So much so, that I drive my family, husband, and others (I'm sure) crazy. With great reluctance and a nervous stomach, I packed a bag for her. (Mind you, they were only going to be gone for a few hours). I gave Jim very specific instructions. I had a talk with Vivien about listening to Dad, watching for cars, and not going with anyone she doesn't know. When she realized that I wasn't going, she broke down in tears and said she didn't want to go. It was so hard to console her because I was fighting tears too. Finally, I told her I would be so proud of her if she went. "You will?!" she asked. I told her yes, and she whimpered okay, then let her Dada (she's been calling him that lately) carry her out. Then I cried after they left.

Needless to say, she was fine when she got there. She got to play with her cousin, Catherine. She saw the family. Then she went to Jim's cousin's house and swam with his kids. I talked to her a few times on the phone and twice she mentioned to me that she didn't go with anyone she didn't know. We've never talked about strangers to her before, but it really seemed to stick with her. Unfortunately, it backfired when her Great Aunt Mary Ann wanted to get her picture taken with her. Vivien hasn't seen her in several months, so she was someone "she doesn't know". Poor Mary Ann. Jim said she was an angel all day and did not give him a hard time at all. Even without a nap! Of course, she was up to her old tricks as soon as she got home. She sure knows how to push mom's buttons!

Here she is in a sweet dress that my friend, Shannon, passed down to her. I thought she looked so beautiful.

Probably telling me something I'm doing is annoying her. I swear she's 13, not 3.

Jim, Great Aunt Mary Ann, Aunt Liza

Mommy Jan, Catherine, Aunt Gina

Vivien, Aunt Liza, Mommy Jan, Uncle Joel

Swinging on the horse swing at Zane's house

******

Today, we got together with our friends, Jenny and Craig, and their kids Frankie (6) and Phoenix (2). It was Jenny's Birthday, so we wanted to do something fun yet indoors. We decided to go to the Bowl-a-Rama in Rowlett. Originally we had planned to see a movie, but realized the movie we wanted to see wasn't open until the 6th. We had lunch in the lounge and then bowled. It was Vivien's first time bowling. My son got to bowl too, and if I say so myself, I beat everyone there. Pregnant belly and all. Vivien got a strike!!! I think she bowled better than Jim. Ha ha!

Vivien's playing the basketball game while Jim is wondering where that dollar went that he just put in the machine.

Vivien's very first bowling attempt. The bumpers automatically came up when it was the kids' turn, plus there was a ramp they could use to aim their balls.

Ever seen a pregnant woman bowl?

Photo Sharing - Video Sharing - Photo Printing - Photo Books

Dancing and music

Photo Sharing - Video Sharing - Photo Printing - Photo Books

The Sinus Plague/Will You Always Be My Mama?

Vivien had her little virus a couple of weeks ago....now it's our turn. Jim and I got hit with awful sinus infections this week. They literally knocked us out. I'm still struggling and finally broke down and had the OB's office call in an antibiotic for me. So far it has ruined our dinner plans for tomorrow. Poor Vivien can only be patient for so long with a sick mom and dad. Jim, as always, has made a lot of sacrifices while he hasn't been feeling well to make sure that I can get some rest. I'm ready to feel better. It's May for crying out loud!!! We need to be at the sprinkler park right now, not sitting around watching movies!


Onto the cute stuff...
Vivien just came up to me a few minutes ago and asked me a question she often asks me, "Will you always be my mama?" She asks this a lot, as well as, "Will you still love me even when you are mad?" She asks Jim the same questions. Today she followed it with, "Will you always be my mama and only my mama." I had to tell her that I would not be only her mama. She was confused for a second and I told her that I would be her brother's mama too. She said, "Okay, I can share!" I'm so glad she was so upbeat with her answer, because I was afraid that reality might be sinking in. But I guess not yet....

Random Pics from this Week

I bought Vivien some new rain boots, but unfortunately it hasn't rained enough for her to go stomp around in puddles. Instead, she played in the backyard.

She decided after bath time that she also has a baby in her belly. But it's a puppy.

Generally when Vivien has an apple, she asks me to cut it and remove the peel. We had lunch at Central Market the other day, so I couldn't do that. She thought she would give it a shot just eating it normally. The little bites were so cute that I couldn't resist taking a picture.

Vivien has talked about wanting a princess dress since we got back from Florida. Everyday she asks if we can get dresses and princess shoes like Gillian has. Today I told her if she was good and let me go to Target, I would buy her a princess outfit. Luckily, she chose one of the cheapest outfits they had.

Vivien's Photo Shoot

One of my favorite photographers was looking for a child to be the face of her 2008 ads. She held a contest and I entered Vivien hoping to win at least something with this photographer. I don't like to enter Vivien in these kinds of things, but I can't afford this photographer otherwise. She won 2nd place, which was a free sitting with the photographer! Here are the pictures she took at the free sitting. Vivien did so great, and the photographer was impressed with how natural she was in front of the camera. The link is only good until the 24th.

http://www.vivian2008.photoherald.com/index.php/view_event.php

28 Week Belly

Mother's Day and Learning how to prick my finger

Mother's Day was pretty non-spectacular, but it came and went without much incident. It started out nicely with Jim and Vivien taking me to Saltgrass Steakhouse for dinner Saturday night. Sunday morning, Jim let me sleep in. The only problem is that I still need to eat pretty early, because when I sleep in, I wake up really nauseous. I mentioned breakfast in bed the night before, but when he peeked in on me my eyes were closed so he didn't want to wake me. I was awake, and was unable to sleep too late because I really needed to eat.

He had cooked eggs for me and they were delicious. Then we hung out most of the morning because I was still feeling poorly. We decided we might try the butterfly festival after nap time. I woke Vivien up a little early from her nap to go, but she threw a fit and said she didn't want to leave the house (this is normal for her). I didn't feel like arguing, so I just pouted the rest of the day. Ha ha. I had been cooped up in the house all week since she was sick and I hadn't felt so hot at the beginning of the weekend. I was ready to get out and hang out with my family. But Vivien had other plans. Namely swinging in the back yard and riding her bike. This little center of attention is going to have a dose of reality in about 2 months. That's for sure.

I was pretty annoyed and went on to finish laundry and make dinner. In the evening, I read a thread on my mom's board that really stuck out to me. It was a condolences thread to those who were not "celebrating" Mother's Day, but rather mourning the loss of a child or mother, or have an estranged relationship with a child or a mother. It reminded me that although my day was rather mediocre, my sister-in-law was "celebrating" Mother's Day at her infant daughter's grave. And then I thought of my close friends who have lost their mothers and the pain they must relive every time a holiday like this comes along.

I am fortunate in that I have a beautiful daughter (and soon a beautiful son) that I can touch and hold. I am fortunate that my mother is here (although too far away) and we have a wonderful relationship. It is silly to have any sort of expectations beyond what we have been blessed with. I am grateful for the efforts my husband puts in to showing his appreciation. I am grateful for hearing "Happy Mother's Day!!!!" from my 3-year-old as soon as I emerge from my bedroom. However, I am most grateful for the reminder to not take these blessings for granted. We all need that reality check from time-to-time.




On another note....I went to learn about gestational diabetes today. I got my glucometer and learned how to use it. My educator was wonderful and very informative. I'll prick my finger 4 times a day for a couple of weeks and check for ketones in my urine, as well. We did a prick this afternoon and I was within the normal range, but my after dinner prick was high. That makes me nervous!! Hopefully it will be fine in the morning. If I'm above the normal parameters all week, we'll just assume I have GD and I'll learn the diet. I'm not super excited about the prospect, but it is what it is!

I know, I know

I'm overdue for an update.... Things have been pretty chaotic lately, and I've been super stressed. I'll just go through the issues.

1. Today was Jimmy's (Grampy) colostomy surgery to remove the cancer from his rectum. I've been really worried about that and worried about my mom. I hate not being there, so it makes it all the more stressful. That was the reason we went to FL when we did, so that we could have some time with him before he was incapacitated for a while. Everything went well, and my sister was good enough to keep me updated. I hope my mom will just go home and get some rest tonight!

2. Vivien is sick. When she is sick, I immediately get on edge. I know fevers are a good thing and show that her little body is fighting, but they also scare the crap out of me. We couldn't figure out her other symptoms since no matter what is going on, she'll say her belly hurts. That all started when I started having the bad nausea with her brother. I took her to the pediatrician this morning and her throat was red with swollen glands. Her strep culture was negative, so it's likely a virus. Which is a bummer because we have to wait it out. She was really upset to learn that she can't go to school tomorrow. I hope my little monkey gets better really soon!

3. I failed my 1 hour glucose tolerance test for gestational diabetes. This means that my doctor would like for me to take the 3 hour test. I do not want to do this test, and it's a looooong story as to why. But believe me when I say that I've done my homework on the subject and would not protest if I didn't think I had a good argument. I was literally distraught when I found out I failed because the 1 hour was traumatizing enough. So I put together a bunch of medical journal articles and a carefully written appeal to give to my doctor. She found it compelling enough that she is willing to compromise with me. I have to check my blood 4X per day with my normal diet for a couple of weeks. If my blood sugars are elevated during that time, I'll immediately start the diabetic diet and regular blood/urine monitoring. Before you freak out or ask why in the world I would challenge my doctor, please realize that I researched this THOROUGHLY given my particular results. MDs are not God and there is nothing wrong with asking for them to reconsider if the information is compelling enough.

4. The deadline to the article I'm writing with my former professor is tomorrow. It's already been pushed back a month because my professor had some family issues to attend to. However, since Vivien is sick and can't go to school, I can't meet tomorrow. We are hoping that we can get this finished and submitted by the end of next week! I'm very anxious to see if the journal accepts it for publishing. That would be HUGE to have a paper published in an academic journal with only a Bachelors degree.

Needless to say, I have quite a bit on my mind. All else looks good around here. DGBB is kicking and hiccuping away. We've got about 10.5 more weeks until we meet him. I'm looking forward to holding my baby boy.